With every piece of my soul (L/J) [ENG]

AH så bra! Man sträckläser, grym.

När kommer det mer? Du är så otroligt begåvad!

Den här var imponerande.

Jag ber om ursäkt för att det går segt med uppdateringen, men när min inspiration försvinner så är den sjukt svår att få tillbaka. Ska försöka tvinga mig till att fortsätta så fort som möjligt.

Tack så jättemycket för alla fina kommenatarer - kul att ni gillar den. Det värmer verkligen!

Åh, ser fram emot nästa uppdatering ändå! Du skriver riktigt bra!

LoveIsThis Tack. Kul att du gillar den.
Beata Åh, tack så sjukt mycket. Det värmer verkligen. Jag kan knappt förstå att någon tycker så mycket om det jag skriver. Men tack, verkligen.
dani Tack så mycket.
superman Tack tack!
NEWBORN Nu kommer det mer.
Men allvarligt, tack så jättemycket.
MrAwesome Tycker du det? :O Haha. Tack!
dani(igen) Nu kommer nästa uppdatering.

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Nu är alltså kapitel 4 här, efter många bråk med mig själv. Inspirationen har varit borta ett tag, men nu tvingade jag mig själv att fortsätta skriva. Denna ska avslutas, och inte ligga ouppdaterad tills den raderas och fullständigt glöms bort, som så många andra fics jag skrivit om andra ämnen på andra ställen.

Stort tack till alla er som läst och kommenterat hittills, och till er som kommer att läsa. Det betyder verkligen jättemycket att någon vill läsa vad jag skriver.

I tried to make it up to you, med ett lite längre kapitel denna gång. Hoppas att ni gillar det.

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Chapter 4.

James half-laid in one of the couches in the Gryffindor common room when he heard the portrait of the fat lady swing open and someone entering.

He opened his eyes for a quick peek and saw Sirius laughing around with some pretty Hufflepuff fifth-year.

"This is the Gryffindor common room, Sirius.", James mumbled.

Sirius just muttered something that sounded very much like "buzzkiller" and sat down in the armchair right in front of the fireplace. He reached over to James and whispered in his ear before placing the Hufflepuff-girl in his lap.

"She has a very cute Ravenclaw girlfriend, who, I'm sure, can put you in a better mood. They both liked our performance at DADA very much."

Then Sirius focused on the girl in his lap. Those two put up a show that made James feel sick to his stomach. And it was definitely not a nice thing to watch Sirius snog the sense out of a girl he'd almost certainly forgotten all about tomorrow, when James had problem accepting that he'd never get to even talk to the only girl he wanted, ever again.

James sighed, rose up and left the common room. He didn't really know where to go. He just wanted to be alone for a while.

After some pacing around the seventh floor he decided on trying the astronomy tower. No one really used to hang out up there, so he would most likely be left alone.

He sat down on one of the stone-benches in the tower, leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He tried to mentally consider with himself what the best choice was in this moment.

James knew that the feelings he had for Lily would never go away, no matter how much he tried to suppress them. The best thing would be to just try to ignore everything he felt for the redhead. There was not a very long time left until graduation, after all. He'd leave Hogwarts in just a little more than a year, and he decided that from now on, he would not speak to Lily unless it was absolutely necessary and he would pay no attention to her what so ever.

James heard footsteps in the stairway, and opened his eyes. Soon, he saw Remus Lupin approach the place where he sat. "Hi mate.", Remus said. "I saw you on the map. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I've made my choice now. I'll pay Lily no attention and I won't speak to her. I think that will at least make my feelings reduce a little, in time, even though I'm sure they will never fully go away."

"I think you are making the right choice James. Being like this is not good for you. I always hoped this would end in another way, and I am sorry it didn't."

"Thank you Remus. I know I can always rely on you for support. You are a true friend. I mean, I love Sirius like a brother, but he can be a little… You know. Sometimes. Like he really doesn't understand, even if he tries to."

Then James was struck by something. "Moony, what time is it?", he asked when he stood up.

"Five minutes to seven. Why?"

"Detention.", James murmured. "I have to hurry. Thank you again Moony." And James ran down the stairs as fast as he could. He thanked his quidditch-training for his good endurance. He had been forced to do a lot of running and physical exercise during his years on the team. He was able to run long distances fast without getting tired.

One minute to seven he knocked on McGonagall's door. "Enter" was heard from inside the office. James opened the door. "I'm here professor."

"Good, Mr. Potter. Where is Mr. Black?", the professor asked.

"No idea.", said James. "Last time I saw him he was busy sticking his tongue down some girl's throat."

"Mr. Potter!", McGonagall exclaimed, shocked.

"Sorry, professor. Just telling you. I don't know where he is. I supposed he'd be here by now. It was after all he who got us into this mess from the start. However, I just want to get this over with. What am I supposed to do?"

"You will polish the trophies in the trophy room."

"Merlin, I'm sorry professor, but is there nothing else to do in this big castle. I've already polished those trophies a hundred times by now."

"If you'd rather clean the owlery, then it's fine by me, Potter.", McGonagall answered curtly.

"I'm good professor. No magic; water, soap and a cloth, I know." He nodded and turned to leave.

"Wait, Potter. There might be something else. The shelves in the library need dusting.

Since you seem very eager to return to your house, I will let you off easily today. And if it is as you say, that Mr. Black was responsible for the incident this morning I see no reason why you should have to be punished very hard."

"I wouldn't want him to be worn out either. It doesn't matter."

"Well then, Potter. Come with me to the library."

He followed right behind her until they reached the enormous library. It was almost empty, except for a few students around some of the tables, probably making up for some missed study-time. What normal person would be in the library at this time?

While looking around, James saw that flash of red hair again. Of course. What else could be expected? It's just like he thought, she was his personal demon, sent out to torture him.

"Potter!", McGonagall called while waving her hand in front of her face.

"You are not allowed to leave until those lines of shelves are dusted. And as you seemed to be in such a hurry to get back, I suggest you start now."

McGonagall conjured up a duster, a bucket with soap and a cloth out of thin air. "Come by my office and report when you are done", she said and left.

James sighed, but grabbed the duster and started working.

When he had come about halfway he heard someone laughing behind him. "Looking good, Potter. You'd make an excellent housewife." James recognized the voice without any difficulties.

He turned and saw the greasy haired Slytherin he despised so much. Despite that, James wasn't even in the mood to do anything towards him. He just shook his head and turned his head back to the books.

"What's wrong Potter? So sad, he's still moping. Gosh, Potter. Shouldn't you move on. Lily has turned you down a hundred times before, why should this case be any different."

James turned back to look at that ugly face. "Just shut up, Snivellus. I don't understand that you still haven't learned not to get on my bad side. We both know you will end up hanging in the air from your ankle with your dirty underpants at public display. You're not even worth it, but if you don't bugger off, I may lose my patience."

"I have as much right to be in here as you Potter. More, in fact, as I spend most of my free time studying, instead of bothering people who doesn't want to have anything to do with you."

James just shook his head and turned back to the books one more time.

"What is it she use to call you Potter? Hmm... an arrogant toe-"

"Silencio." James muttered with his hand on the wand in his pocket. "I can't stand your irritating voice anymore. Sorry, Snivellus."

James didn't even realize that Snape had blocked the charm. "I am really tired of you bossing me around Potter. Sectumsempra!", Snape shouted.

James didn't even react before the curse hit him. He felt an excruciating pain in his back. He felt the blood running down his spine, and soon his legs couldn't even carry him. He fell to his knees.

Then he heard something he didn't really need right now. Lily Evans voice was heard.

"Snape!" she screamed. "How could you? I know you dislike him, but that doesn't justify that. What curse was that anyway. It's awful.

Potter didn't even do anything to you. And only a coward is cursing someone from behind. Yes, you are right in running away. I'd do that too if I was the coward that you are." Lily was furious.

James saw in the corner of his eyes Severus Snape running out of the library like the coward he was. James flinched when he tried to move. The pain in his back increased, and his body was trembling. He realized he was gradually losing his sight. He fell to his back, and that hurt even more.

"Someone, go and get help. Now!" Lily ordered.

The last thing James saw before his vision turned black was those green eyes that he'd always been so fond of.

Jätte bra.

Vad bra du skriver på engelska.

OOooomg! Dör. Älskar det här! :'D Bevakar.

Vilma Tack så jättemycket.

C4 Alltså, tack så jättemycket.!
Jag håller med dig fullständigt, att gestaltning är bättre än konversationer. Det fanns dock en anledning att jag skrev på detta sätt, och det är att, även fast detta kapitel inte var skrivet ur James perspektiv som första person så är det en "oberoende tredjeperson" som berättar vad James ser, hör och känner. Eftersom att James blev attackerad bakifrån och han inte ser vad som pågår bakom honom, så blev det helt enkelt att han bara fick höra vad som händer. But I totally get your point.
Och tack igen, verkligen!

MonsterCookie Tack så himla mycket. Det värmer jättemycket av fina kommentarer - att folk faktiskt tycker om det jag skriver. Tack!


För övrigt ska jag försöka få upp nästa kapitel imorgon.