With every piece of my soul (L/J) [ENG]

Titel: With every piece of my soul
Språk: Engelska
Typ av text: Fanfiction
Antal kapitel hittills: 8
Färdigskriven: Nej
Rating: PG-13(bara för säkerhets skull)
Beskrivning: En fanfic jag skrivit på engelska och som även ligger uppe på fanfiction.net.
Handlar om Lily & James under deras två sista år på Hogwarts, hur de bråkar som ett gift gamamalt par, hur de till slut får respekt för varandra och hur de till slut blir kära(som vi alla naturligtvis vet att de blir). Innehåller även en massa vanliga tonårsproblem och Marodörernas galna påhitt.

Varning för eventuella stavfel och grammatikfel. Engelska är ju trots allt inte mitt modersmål, men men. Konstruktiv kritik uppskattas varmt.

Länk till fanfiction.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6974340/1/With_Every_Piece_Of_My_Soul

EDIT: Det blev något konstigt med citattecknen när jag klistrade in texten, någon som vet varför? Det kan kanske bero på min webbläsare, men om någon av er också tycker det ser kostigt ut, försök att uppdatera sidan så borde det se normalt ut.
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Chapter 1

The Marauders (James excluded)


”Peter, Remus! Marauder's meeting. Now. Our dorm!”, Sirius called from the staircase of the Gryffindor common room, before he went back to the dorm.

Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew just turned to look at each other with confused expressions on their faces. But they rose from the comfy chairs they were sitting in and hurried away to their dormitory. They could tell from Sirius’ voice that it was something important.

“Thank god you decided to come quickly.”, Sirius said when they met up with him outside the room. “I have never seen him like this before. I think he’s having a mental breakdown in there or something.”

“Well, what is he doing?”, Remus asked. He didn’t hear any shouting, cries or things shattering against the wall.

“Nothing, that’s the problem. He just lies there, he’s been laying there all day, in his bed. He hasn’t eaten anything, or spoken to me all day. Last time I saw him outside of this room was this morning for breakfast. Something must have happened after that, that I am not aware of.”, Sirius answered.


James

He just lied there, staring up at the ceiling of his four-poster bed. Lily’s words echoing in his head. “Even if it was my duty to save the population and you were the last man on earth, I still wouldn’t go out with you. I hate you, James Potter, with every piece of my soul. Just leave me alone and don’t speak to me ever again.”

James didn’t wish to do anything. He was not hungry even though he hadn’t eaten anything in more than twelve hours, he had been ignoring his best friend who was trying to help him and, god, he didn’t even feel any enthusiasm about planning pranks anymore.
Those feelings scared him, just as well as the heartache he was feeling. He had never felt anything like it before and he knew it was the worst pain he’d ever experienced. He wouldn’t even wish it upon his worst enemy.

“I hate you, James Potter, with every piece of my soul!” He winced. “With every piece of my soul!” He put a pillow over his head trying to shut the voice out, but since it was in his mind he realized he couldn’t. “I hate you, James Potter…”
James gave away a cry, followed by a heart-shattering scream into his pillow, and buried his head in it as another useless attempt to get Lily Evans’ voice out of his head.

“Mate! I don’t care anymore that you want to be alone. I am coming in now!” James could hear Sirius shout from outside the door, but he still didn’t care. He just rolled up into a ball at the edge of the bed, pulling the covers over himself.

James could hear the door open and the well-known footsteps of his most loyal friend, who he’d been acting like an ass to all day, approached him where he was laying on his bed.

Sirius

He sat down in the chair beside James’ bed. For a few minutes, he just sat there without saying anything. He was trying to come up with a way to make his friend feel better. James was more of a brother to him than Regulus, and they had known each other for so many years that Sirius could feel James’ pain as if it was his own.

”James, please. Just tell me what I can do to help you”, he pleaded with a pained voice. “I am going crazy here, mate. You could at least tell me what all this is about.”

James didn’t answer him. Sirius sighed, but stayed by his friends’ side.

When Sirius had been there for more than half an hour, he rose from his chair and walked towards the door. He had to talk to Remus and Peter again. They might be able to help him come up with something.

Suddenly, when Sirius had almost reached the door, he heard his friend’s voice for the first time in so many hours.

“She hates me, Padfoot. I have been suspecting it for a while, but because of my conceit and selfishness, I have never realized it for real. But now she has officially confirmed it.”, James murmured.

Sirius froze where he stood. Of course, why could he not see it earlier? Of course this was about Lily. He should have known.

“She hates me, Padfoot.” James repeated. “’With Every Piece Of Her Soul’”, he quoted word-for-word. “She is like a demon sent out to torture me to death. It hurts so much, Padfoot. You don’t understand”, he said with despair in his voice. “I have lost all hope. My mind doesn’t work correctly anymore. My mind is even telling me that if she would see me now, like this, she would rejoice. Even though I, deep inside, know she is to good-natured to even think about something like it.”

Sirius had now returned to the same chair he’d been sitting in just a few minutes earlier. “James, you know I am on your side in all of this, but I cannot see you like this anymore. If it pains you this much, my advice to you is trying to move on. I know it will be hard as hell forgetting about your love for Lily, but you will go bloody mental if you carry on like this.”

James groaned. “You think I haven’t already tried that Padfoot? You believe I haven’t already tried to stop thinking about her. God damn it, I can’t even get her words of this morning out of my head.”

“It may take time, it would be strange otherwise. But you shall know that I, Remus and Peter will be here to support you, every minute if we need to.”

“That is true!”, exclaimed Remus when he barged into the room with Peter behind him. “We are here for you mate. Always.”, he said when he sat down on the floor beside James’ bed.
“Marauders honour.”

James could suddenly be seen, peeking through an opening of the covers. He sat up, and his friends’ expressions grew shocked when they saw his appearance. His hair was extremely messy, his eyes were red and he had dark circles underneath them. Something was strange about his eyes, they were shifty, like he didn’t know where to look or what or who to concentrate his gaze on.

“You guys are the best, I really don’t deserve you.”, he mumbled.
”Of course you deserve our friendship. You are not such a bad friend yourself, and you are always there to help us with our problems. Now it’s our turn to be here for you.”, Remus said.

You know I like it ~_^* Tycker att du ska lägga upp fler kapitel när tid finnes! Jag må vara dålig på att läsa fanfictions, men jag kan alltid göra undantag!

Tack vännen. ♥
Har ju tre(snart fyra) färdigskrivna delar att lägga upp här. Ska försöka skriva fler nya också snart. Du vet, jag får sommarlov imorgon och sen kommer jag ha massor av tid.
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Chapter 2.

”Evans!” he called. She didn’t turn around. “Evans!” he shouted again. “Come on Evans, listen!” He approached her, running.

She knew what was coming and she was tired of it. “No, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!” she threw in his face when he stood right in front of her. “I am so sick of you trying to always get my attention or asking me out. When will you get it? Even if it was my duty to save the population and you were the last man on earth, I still wouldn't go out with you. I hate you, James Potter, with every peace of my soul. Just leave me alone and don't speak to me ever again." She screamed. “Just leave me alone.” She sighed, shook her head and barged away, leaving him standing there in the corridor, feeling as if his heart had just been ripped out and stomped on.

The next few days at Hogwarts were really different, and everybody noticed it, teachers and students as well as the ghosts.

Normally, it was never quiet in class. The Marauders always cracked jokes, pulled pranks or were mainly distracting the other students, and at least three times a day James Potter would ask Lily Evans out.

Now, James didn’t even look at Lily once during classes. He and his three best friends always choose the table at the very back of the classroom and they were speaking to each other in low voices. Nobody noticed them as much as before, but they were still the centre of attention, since people weren’t used to their silence.


Lily

“What is wrong with them?” she heard her friend Mary ask when they were sitting in the great hall for lunch this Tuesday afternoon. “There’s always so much chaos and noise around them. I haven’t heard any of them say anything out loud for days.”

Lily knew whom she talked about. She had definitely noticed the difference. And to be honest, she really liked the silence and stillness, and she was glad that James Potter seemed to have finally gotten the hint and left her alone, though she felt a bit guilty because of they way she had treated him. She knew she might have been a bit too harsh.

“Well, I kind of got into a row with Potter.”, she mumbled and her two friends, Alice and Mary looked at her with questioning expressions.

“He was calling after me in the corridor, and I knew what he was going to ask me, what he always asks me. I told him that I hated him and that I would not go out with him even if he was the last man on earth. I might have been a bit to harsh, but he finally got the hint.”, Lily told them.

The friends’ eyes grew wide. “God, Lily! No wonder he is distraught, poor guy.”, Mary exclaimed. “How could you be so mean? I mean, no one can blame a guy for being in love.”, Alice said.

“I can’t believe you two take his side in this.”, Lily accused. “James Potter has, and will always be an arrogant self-centred prat. And don’t give me that crap about the guy being in love with me, I know he’s not. He’s just in it for the fun of the chase. If I give in to him he’ll just move on to the next girl in line.” She sighed and rose from the seat. “Well, if you guys feel so sorry for him, why don’t you go over there and comfort him? I will see you back in the common room later.” Lily hurried out of the great hall, leaving her two stunned friends behind.

She felt betrayed by her two best friends. She couldn’t believe they stood up for Potter of all people.

In her hurry to get to the Gryffindor-tower she ran into someone. “Sorry”, she mumbled. But when she looked up she saw the face of Remus Lupin, who, even though his choice of friends, she really liked and thought of as a good friend. “Oh, Remus. I didn’t realize it was you. How are you, it’s been a while since we spoke”, she said.

“I’m fine, thank you.”, he answered curtly. “I really have to go now, Lily. I guess I’ll see you around.”, he said before he left her.

She was stunned. Remus didn’t want to speak to her. It felt like a bit of a loss. What happened, was all of her friends going to leave her? She ran all the way to the empty common room and dropped down into one of the couches.

Mer

Sjukt bra, ska gå in på fanfictions.net och leta upp den nu, haha.

Du skriver jättebra hur som helst, keep it up!



edit: Hittade inte, men du får gärna länka om du orkar? (a)

Your writing is excellent! And I love the pairing, I kind of love any story with a Lily/James pairing. So keep up the good work, looking forward to the next chapter!

Tack så mycket för kommentarerna.

Nästa gång ska jag försöka ge personliga tack, men jag har tyvärr inte tid nu.

Hur som helst, det betyder mycket.

Just det, jag har lagt upp länken till denna fanfic på fanfiction.net i första inlägget.

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Chapter 3.

James walked through the corridor alone. Sirius had insisted in accompanying him, but James had told him he just wanted to be alone to clear his thoughts for a bit, while there was a free period in his schedule. He would meet up with his friends before next class.

James had decided to follow Sirius' advice and at least try to forget about Lily. She did not want him, and she never would. He knew that now. That piece of information stung, but he knew it would be necessary to leave her alone. He didn't want to bother her anymore; he loved her to much for that.

When he thought of the fact that this was his sixth year, that he had only one year left, and he would graduate and leave Hogwarts, without Lily Evans by his side, he felt that ache in his chest again. In some way, he had always imagined to be with her after graduation, to move in with her, to love her till the day he died. Now he knew that that had just been a ridiculously stupid thought as it would never happen, and no words could describe what he felt inside.

Suddenly, James could see a flash of deep-red hair approach him. "Oh no", he thought. "God, what have I done to deserve this? Is it because I've been an ass to the girl for the last three years, because in that case, I KNOW THAT ALREADY, damn it."

He made a quick decision to ignore her completely. That's what she would've wanted. James walked straight forward until he had passed by her, using all his strength not to look at her beautiful face. "Stop it!", the voice in his mind shouted. "You are supposed to forget about her, how beautiful she is and how much it hurts not being able to speak to her, remember?"

He could almost swear that the foot-steps of Lily Evans had stopped behind him. But he would not stay and look back at her. He would not. That would only make things even more miserable. James just walked on.

Soon, he reached the stairs up to the seventh floor, and at the top of the staircase, he saw a face he knew so very well. Sirius was standing there, waiting for him.

"Hi, mate", Sirius said and patted James' shoulder. "Want to pull a prank?", he asked when the two friends were heading to the Gryffindor-tower together. "You need something to cheer you up."

"I am really not in the mood, Sirius. Sorry", James answered with a sigh.

Sirius watched his friend with a weird look. "Come on Prongs. We don't have to do anything big. We could just give some dung-bombs to Peeves or something", he said and took out a box of the famous Zonko products from his robes.

"Do it if you want to Sirius, but I don't want to get another detention. I just want to go back to the dorm when classes are over, and go to sleep early. Every hour awake just bothers me. I wish I could just stay asleep forever."

"Don't say that Prongs. Don't ever say that", Sirius scolded.

"What could I say? Just thinking about the fact that me and Lily will never be, makes me see no point in life. Well, except from you and Remus…" James said.

"Stop that James! I am serious, stop talking rubbish!" Sirius had raised his voice. "Now, I will at least try to get you out of that depressed mood. Peeves!" he called. "Peeevees!"

In less than a few seconds the highly annoying poltergeist of Hogwarts rounded a corner. "Why are you calling for me?" he asked. "I was just ripping pages out of the books in the library. You better have something really good for me."

"We sure do. We have dung-bombs", Sirius explained and showed the box, and Peeves tried to grab it.

"Oh no, if you shall get them, you have to promise two things." The poltergeist glared at him fiercely. "You have to promise not to tell anyone about who gave them to you and you have to promise to drop them in every corridor as long as they last." Sirius grinned.

The poltergeist laughed. "I can do that." He grabbed the box and took off.

"Now, we'll just have to wait, and no one will know it was us. If that little sneak doesn't tell on us, that is. But then he'll wish he was never born."

Finally at the Gryffindor-tower, the two boys met up with Remus and Peter and then walked together down to the Defence against the Dark Arts class.

"Mr Potter, Mr Black!", someone called from behind. When they turned they saw the face of their transfiguration-teacher and the head of their house – Professor McGonagall.

"Is this some new plan of yours?" she asked when she approached them. "To act all innocent and mature just to strike when no one is expecting it?"

"Sorry, but we don't know what you are talking about professor", Sirius quickly said. A bit too hastily to be believed.

"Someone has given dung-bombs to Peeves. He is dropping them everywhere and no one can be in the corridors on the first floor. I have no doubt what so ever that you two are involved in this problem. Therefore I will give both of you detention."

"But professor, please believe me when I say that James had nothing to do with it", Sirius exclaimed. He lowered his voice a little. "He is in kind of a bad mood and I just tried to cheer him up. I should have the detention and not him."

"This is not the first time one of you two have tried to cover for each other. My decision is final. Detention! My office at seven o'clock", she said and stalked off.

James let out a sigh, but didn't say anything. "I'm sorry for putting you up to this, Prongs", Sirius said. "I didn't mean for me to get caught, and pull you with me into the shit."

"It's fine." James murmured and walked on, with his three friends at his heels.

When they entered the DADA class, they realized most of their classmates were already there and there were only two empty tables available in the middle of the classroom. They took place at one of them, picked up their books from their bags.

The door opened and Lily Evans, Alice Fortescue and Mary McDonald entered the room. James realized that the only free table was the one diagonally in front of his own table. He quickly turned his gaze from the door, looked down in his own book and kept his eyes there until Lily and her friends sat down. Then he would only see their backs and it would be easier to concentrate on the class without being distracted by Lily Evans' face.

"Good evening class", the professor exclaimed. "Today's lesson will be about the Patronus charm. You shall read the part that covers it in the book and then we'll move on to the practicalities of conjuring it."

"Boring!" Sirius yelled. "I could do that in my sleep in fourth year. James too. Do we even have to be here?"

The majority of the students, especially the girls let out a sigh and someone mumbled "show-off".

"Well, if you two boys show us, then I see no reason why you should be here. Get over here and give us a presentation."

Sirius rose from his chair and tried to drag James with him. "Sirius!" James snapped. He lowered his voice, not wanting everybody to hear. "I reckon that you know that this task includes happy thoughts. How the hell do you think I will be able to do this now?" At this, James could swear that Lily turned her head to glance at him. He saw it from the corner of his eye, but he didn't look at her. He had completely forgotten that the source of his misery sat close enough to hear him.

"Aw, come on Prongs. I know you can do it." Sirius pulled him up from the chair and dragged him to the front of the classroom. "Think of the day I moved in with you. That day gave you a fabulous brother", Sirius whispered, a grin covering his face.

"Expecto Patronum!" The big silvery dog float out of Sirius's wand and ran around the room. "Hah, piece of cake", he laughed.

The professor was stunned. "Amazing!" he cried. "To be honest I didn't believe you could do it, Mr. Black. So, Mr. Potter, do you want to show us?" he asked.

James made more that one failure attempt. All his thoughts were of Lily. How could he even dream of managing it? "Focus, Prongs! I know you can do this. Just let all other thoughts go away", Sirius tried to encourage him.

James used all his strength to forget all about his misery just for a few seconds. He forced all the happy memories he had into the front of his mind and focused on them.

"Expecto Patronum!" And finally, the stag broke out of his wand and walked gracefully around the room before it faded away. James let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Truly unbelievable. Well, now boys you are free to leave this class without any consequences. Although, if you stay to instruct your fellow students I will give you some extra house-points."

"Sure!" Sirius answered and turned to look at James who was very quiet. "What do you say?", he asked.

"I don't feel very well, excuse me. I think I will go and get some rest, professor." He gave a small nod. "You Sirius can stay if you want. I'll be in the tower."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Sirius demanded to know. James shook his head and headed out of the room.

Sjukt bra D

Du är helt fantastiskt duktig på att skriva!
Jag älskar engelska och det är verkligen roligt att få läsa på det språket, speciellt eftersom den som skriver är så duktig. Verkligen duktig!

Jag hoppas att du kan och har tid att lägga ut ett till kapitel snart. Jag väntar. =D

Åh så himla bra. Du är verkligen riktigt duktig på engelska! Keep up the great work!